"Protecting Property Values, One Bourbon at a Time" "Please HOA Responsibly"
(Citation Generator) Simulate what happens when a HOA Board member walks his dog after three or four Margaritas.
Patrol Officer: Jill (Treasurer)
Incident: Cited House #104 for leaving recycling bins out at 7:01 PM. Spent 20 minutes trying to issue a ticket to a decorative lawn gnome thinking it was a trespassing contractor.
Patrol Officer: Brenda (President)
Incident: Measured lawn height using a credit card at 1:00 AM. Declared grass "recklessly green" and impounded a child's tricycle for blocking the airspace of the sidewalk.
Patrol Officer: Gary (At-Large)
Incident: Shined a tactical flashlight into a garage for 45 minutes, arguing that the owner's white SUV was actually 'eggshell' and violated the community 'beige-only' driveway code.